Get the Message?

By Dave Harrity. Posted in Issue Three and Poetry. Bookmark the permalink.

A poem composed entirely of SPAM email subject lines

I have something I want to share w/ you.
How about a talk today? Did you get my last email?
I want to recommend this special pill.

Summer’s coming—spend much time at the pool?
Want to look sexy/confident in that new swimsuit?
This is why I want to share with you…

There’s hope 4 a sorry ass like yours!
You too can meet a Bootylicious girl!
But you must begin to take this special pill.

I’m not trying to tell you what to do…
When ur slim u always find a mate—
A person will share their life with you.

Make your bun attractive to an oven;
Those bed problems will surely go away.
All this if you swallow just one tiny pill.

Everyone’s struggling to make ends meet;
You can gain that Don Juan reputation!
You know that this is good advice for you.

You’ll get some great results with quickly speed
If you could only get your pants-meat pumped!
Finally, you’ll get to share her lovely pillow.

Bed and body problems aren’t your fault.
Here’s the news u want 2 hear; I say it cuz I care.
This is a deal I’m only going to share with you.
I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a pill.

● ● ●

Dave Harrity lives in Louisville, Kentucky. His work has appeared in or is forthcoming from issues of Ruminate Magazine, Copper-Nickel, Existere, The L.A. Review and The White Pelican Review. A chapbook of his poems, Morning and What Has Come Since, (Finishing Line Press, 2007) was nominated for a Pushcart Prize and a Kentucky Literary Award.

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